Today is the International Day of Families. Can we appreciate our own family more?
Before Christmas, an advertisement for a furniture shop appeared on Spanish television. A large, multi-generational family organises a quiz and everyone who doesn’t know the answer to the question must leave the table. As long as the questions are about the lives of celebrities, athletes’ achievements or technological innovations, the family is having a great time. However, after the question: “What was the subject of grandma’s studies?”, everyone at the table goes quiet. Next questions: “Where did your parents go for their honeymoon?” and “What does your child want to be in the future?” – remain unanswered. Sad and embarrassed family members leave the table one by one. What would a similar quiz look like in your family? Sometimes we’re unable to appreciate what we have. We complain and criticise, thinking that others have better or more convenient lives. Sometimes it just takes a short while apart or gaining a little perspective to see that we have a real treasure right under our nose. It’s time to get to know your family better!
Questions are important
On a large piece of paper, outline your child’s silhouette. Then, by writing words or drawing together with your child, fill it with what your child likes to do. You can think of it as an interview with your child. You are a journalist and the child answers your questions:
write or draw on the “hands” of the figure what the child likes to do,
on the “legs” write places that they enjoy going to,
on the “head” write dreams about what they would like to do in the future,
and on the “heart” write three things that they enjoy doing the most.
On another piece of paper, the child outlines the parent (it can also be a normal-sized sheet and a human silhouette) and conducts the same interview with them. Let these interviews go further. Talk about your childhood and your dreams from that time. About your friends. About moments of courage, sadness and joy. Start and watch it unwind. You can arrange your list of questions and interview other family members. Call your relatives. Let your children talk to their grandparents about their childhood, about the moments that were important for them and about how they met. You can go even further and call your extended family such as, your favourite aunt or cousin. Thanks to this, you’ll learn more about your family history.
My family and our time together
Prepare sheets of paper and crayons and invite the children to draw together. Each of you should draw as many ways of spending time with your loved ones as possible. Exchange your ideas. Choose the ones that suit you all. Remember that you don’t always have to spend time all together. Especially if you’re a bigger family, look for ideas and space to spend time in smaller groups too. Then there’s a chance to talk in private, to be closer. It is also a chance for the child to have the full attention of the parent, who won’t be distracted by the weeping of younger children or by their teenager kicking up a fuss about wanting to come back home later at night.
The time capsule
As we are living under certain, particularly severe restrictions that limit our mobility and prevent us from implementing our plans, make a time capsule filled with cards. Write down on each card, plans which couldn’t happen now, which you have had for a long time. You may also include plans that you have thought of only recently. Everyone can pitch in with their own individual ideas concerning themselves. Together, think which of these you should have done as a family.
My family is important to me because...
Make all members of the family finish the following sentence (aloud or in thought): “My family is important to me because...” You can encourage your loved ones to share their thoughts with you. However, don’t force it. Sometimes it’s better to let go than hear something someone made up because they were pushed.
All source materials are prepared by the team of Kulczyk Foundation’s Education Department in cooperation with teachers and experts – pedagogists, psychologists and cultural experts – and verified by an experienced family therapist Kamila Becker. Kinga Kuszak, PhD, Professor of Adam Mickiewicz University, Faculty of Educational Studies, provides content-related supervision over Kulczyk Foundation’s educational materials. All materials are covered by the content patronage of the Faculty of Educational Studies of Adam Mickiewicz University.
The article was published on 15.05.2020 on the website of Instytut Dobrego Życia (Good Life Institute)
Authors: Marta Tomaszewska (Kulczyk Foundation) and Anna Woźniak (Instytut Dobrego Życia)