How to talk about emotions with your child? Start with reading a story together

Home page
News
How to talk about emotions with your child? Start with reading a story together

Do you want to make friends with anger, get to know empathy or look joy in the eye? Instytut Dobrego Życia (Good Life Institute) and Kulczyk Foundation initiated the #stayhome #timeforrelationships campaign. In the upcoming weeks, every day we’re going to propose simple, interesting exercises to help children (and adults) find themselves in this world of complicated emotions and values. Let’s stay close to each other, especially in this difficult time.

Is it worth having conversations?

Why is it so important to support children in developing the ability to recognise, name and express feelings and emotions? Because emotions and feelings are like guests. Even if they come unannounced, let them in, allow them to sit down and tell us what has happened, listen to them, and they will leave after a while. If we refuse to let them in, if we don’t listen to them, they’re going to – especially the violent and difficult ones – bang on our door and windows, they’ll try to get into the cellar or squeeze themselves in through the chimney, and that will do no good, they’ll only cause destruction and problems.

How should we talk?

A conversation about emotions should take place at the right moment. But how do we create it? Let’s try to introduce such topics to our daily life instead of waiting for a crisis. Especially now, when we stay at home together and there’s a lot happening not only around us, but also inside of us. How do we do that? A good excuse to start talking about emotions are stories. Reading or listening to them quietens kids down and encourages them to talk. It’s worth matching the tale to the subject which we want to bring up – whether it’s gratitude, jealousy or perseverance when we fail.

Home page
News
How to talk about emotions with your child? Start with reading a story together

Let’s talk about emotions

Talking about emotions and feelings can be even more difficult in the case of older children, especially teenagers. Particularly, if you would only talk about emotions with them in a crisis, not on an everyday basis. Talk about how the current situation influences what you feel or might feel. Talk to your child about what freedom means to them and to you. This topic is especially important now and it might be experienced differently by you in comparison to your child. Listen carefully, don’t push. Even if you don’t manage to talk openly at the first attempt, don’t be discouraged. Try to get back to the subject at another opportunity.

Your experiences count

A good starting point is becoming aware of your own experiences connected with freedom. Do you remember when you felt free for the first time? Tell your child about this situation. Try to recall what you felt too and share that with them. You can read more about why it’s important to bring up this subject in conversations with teenagers here.

All source materials are prepared by the team of Kulczyk Foundation’s Education Department in cooperation with teachers and experts – pedagogists, psychologists and cultural experts – and verified by an experienced family therapist Kamila Becker. Kinga Kuszak, PhD, Professor of Adam Mickiewicz University, Faculty of Educational Studies, provides content-related supervision over Kulczyk Foundation’s educational materials. All materials are covered by the content patronage of the Faculty of Educational Studies of Adam Mickiewicz University.

The article was published on 24.03.2020 on the website of Instytut Dobrego Życia (Good Life Institute)

Authors: Dorota Kuszyńska (Kulczyk Foundation) and Anna Woźniak (Instytut Dobrego Życia)