How to teach a child to name and fulfil needs? Start with yourself and tell them how you feel when you are tired

Home page
News
How to teach a child to name and fulfil needs? Start with yourself and tell them how you feel when you are tired

Being amusing is not always the best solution for sadness. Each of us may need something different to feel better. Sometimes it’s enough to be close to someone or talk. It’s good to listen to yourself. It’s also worth talking about your needs so that others understand you better and are able to help if needed.

Conversation with a small child

Encourage your child to analyse together the way they feel and recognise needs. Start with the simplest ones: I’m hungry. I’m thirsty. I feel tired. I feel bad (something hurts). I’m sad. I’m bored.

Talk to your child about how you feel and what your bodies are telling you. For example, when you’re hungry, your stomach is rumbling. It means that you need to eat something. And what do you feel when you’re tired?

What do I need to live?

It’s very important to skilfully respond to your own and other people’s needs. Create a map of your needs together. You can divide it into categories: what we need to live, what we need to study and work (especially in the conditions in which we find ourselves now, when most of us are staying home with our families and must still work and study). What do we need for fun and entertainment? How can this need be satisfied in a house or a flat, using simple props? Talk about the fact that there are needs that if you do not fulfil, one can’t live, develop and be happy. Try to list these needs. Think about how we know that we have a certain need. Look for solutions that will satisfy it.

Home page
News
How to teach a child to name and fulfil needs? Start with yourself and tell them how you feel when you are tired

Older children

When talking to older children, you can already try to determine the symptoms of not only these basic needs, but also, above all, of those more difficult to capture, such as safety, touch, creativity, peace, space or beauty. You can search the Internet and use a list of basic needs that all people have, compiled by Marshall Rosenberg, the creator of the Nonviolent Communication.

This topic is worth bringing up with teenagers, because at this age people are intensively developing the skills of recognising their needs, naming them and testing various strategies to satisfy them. You could try to determine how your other needs manifest themselves and how you can respond to them while staying at home.
Remember that not everyone satisfies a given need in the same way. Together, look for ways that are available to you now and that could help satisfy the needs of all family members.

All source materials are prepared by the team of Kulczyk Foundation’s Education Department in cooperation with teachers and experts – pedagogists, psychologists and cultural experts – and verified by an experienced family therapist Kamila Becker. Kinga Kuszak, PhD, Professor of Adam Mickiewicz University, Faculty of Educational Studies, provides content-related supervision over Kulczyk Foundation’s educational materials. All materials are covered by the content patronage of the Faculty of Educational Studies of Adam Mickiewicz University.

The article was published on 28.03.2020 on the website of Instytut Dobrego Życia (Good Life Institute)

Authors: Dorota Szkodzińska (Kulczyk Foundation) and Anna Woźniak (Instytut Dobrego Życia)