I think I know how you feel. Empathy exercises not only for children

Empathy in children can be practised. (Tatiana Jachyra / unsplash.com)

Do I say what I think and feel?  

If your child can already name different emotions and feelings, you can play ‘guess what the other person’s feeling’ by uttering neutral phrases in different ways. How to start? Together with your child, agree on a sentence (e.g., “I came home”) and then say it in different ways: sadly, angrily, cheerfully, timidly, etc. While playing the game, discuss how you can tell what feeling that is or what fooled you. Ask the child why they associate different actions or tones of voice with a particular emotion.  

Empathetic attitude  

Look at the pictures and select those which, in your opinion, represent a situation in which someone is showing empathy to the other person. Let the children explain why they think so. Put together a short story about what’s going on between the people in the selected pictures. Try to make the characters in the story address each other in a way you imagine an empathic conversation goes.   

Your conversations  

Now think of your own conversations. In what space do they take place? Do you see each other well? Are you focused on what the other person is saying? Are you disturbed when the TV is on or when the other person is looking at their mobile phone? Isn’t your mind wandering? Share with each other what is cool and nice about these conversations and what makes you feel that you are being heard. Maybe you want to change something? There’s nothing to wait for! Sometimes a small change, such as squatting in front of a child and looking at them straight in the eye, can give great results.  

 

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Summary

A mirror of feelings  

Engage your mirror neurons. Sit down or stand facing each other at arm’s length. One person shows a feeling that you both know (joy, sadness, intimidation, longing, anger, sense of power), and the other copies it as if it were reflected in a mirror, and then shows their own way of experiencing this feeling. Then you exchange roles. After a round of an ordinary mirror, the second round begins, a helpful mirror. This time one person shows a feeling, while the other responds empathetically. This conveys that they’re there for the other person and that they notice what they’re experiencing.

 

All source materials are prepared by the team of Kulczyk Foundation’s Education Department in cooperation with teachers and experts – pedagogists, psychologists and cultural experts – and verified by an experienced family therapist Kamila Becker. Kinga Kuszak, PhD, Professor of Adam Mickiewicz University, Faculty of Educational Studies, provides content-related supervision over Kulczyk Foundation’s educational materials. All materials are covered by the content patronage of the Faculty of Educational Studies of Adam Mickiewicz University.

The article was published on 04.05.2020 on the website of Instytut Dobrego Życia (Good Life Institute)

Authors: Marta Tomaszewska (Kulczyk Foundation) and Anna Woźniak (Instytut Dobrego Życia)