It’s only those who do nothing that make no mistakes. How can you help children make their own decisions?

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It’s only those who do nothing that make no mistakes. How can you help children make their own decisions?

Where we, adults, see the “impossible, unprofitable, unimportant”, children think and ponder, sometimes coming up with surprising solutions. Now is the time when our and their ingenuity matters even more. Let’s give children space to create new solutions and let’s not be afraid of making mistakes. It’s a natural part of learning and problem solving.

Our ideas count!

Sometimes kids have ideas that adults would never think of. This is good because the situation in which we all find ourselves sometimes requires unusual solutions. This is a moment when it’s particularly worth maintaining openness, listening carefully and appreciating the potential of children. Together with your child, discover the story of 9-year-old Milagros from Peru, who is a heroine from the scenario of a class on engagement and talks about an extraordinary project entitled “Children to the rescue”. Let yourself be inspired and try to tackle a problem that is important to you.

Wise praise

At the moment, many children are also undergoing a crash course in independence; each household member is actively involved in domestic life, everyone offers something. This course starts with admitting ignorance. “I don’t know” is a good starting point for the search for answers and different ways to face a new task.

For some parents, at least at the beginning, giving space to a child can be a challenge. Sometimes the risk of spilled water or a chipped plate is worth taking, because this is the best way for a child to learn independence.

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It’s only those who do nothing that make no mistakes. How can you help children make their own decisions?

Whenever you see that the child learns to do something new, tries new things or copes well with something, try to give credit. Appreciation should be descriptive, not judgemental. Instead of saying “well done”, “pretty” etc., describe what you see: the effort involved, the time devoted to the task, the strategies adopted, the effect of the action. For example, if you want to praise a child who has prepared sandwiches, you can say that you appreciate that they also thought about your hunger, that they added not only cheese, but also a piece of pepper, that they cleaned the kitchen top immediately after preparing the sandwich, keeping things tidy.

Showing your appreciation by providing descriptions strengthens the children’s self-esteem and helps them feel more independent rather than having to rely on external evaluation. It is an important element in developing a child's attitude towards development, also which affects self-esteem.

All source materials are prepared by the team of Kulczyk Foundation’s Education Department in cooperation with teachers and experts – pedagogists, psychologists and cultural experts – and verified by an experienced family therapist Kamila Becker. Kinga Kuszak, PhD, Professor of Adam Mickiewicz University, Faculty of Educational Studies, provides content-related supervision over Kulczyk Foundation’s educational materials. All materials are covered by the content patronage of the Faculty of Educational Studies of Adam Mickiewicz University.

The article was published on 09.04.2020 on the website of Instytut Dobrego Życia (Good Life Institute)

Authors: Dorota Szkodzińska (Kulczyk Foundation) and Anna Woźniak (Instytut Dobrego Życia)