Most of the children brought up in our culture – even very young ones – are deeply convinced that mothers cook dinner, fathers repair a broken tap, girls play with dolls, and boys play with cars. Children learn these social beliefs about the typical activities and roles of men and women, boys and girls very quickly and very early. Where do such beliefs come from? They come from very different sources, as a young child treats all sources of information as equally credible. Children also tend to understand certain relationships they observe very strictly, assuming that they are non-exceptional. A three-year-old girl who was brought up in a bilingual environment where her mother and grandmother spoke Chinese, and her father spoke Polish, spoke Chinese to all women. Most likely, she coined the rule that all women are spoken to in this language. However, one meeting was enough for this rule to be corrected and the child remembered that not all women speak Chinese. Developmental psychologists conducting research on this subject have noticed that the ability to distinguish people similar to their own appearance: people of their own race and gender, which is the basis of subsequent stereotypical opinions, is formed as early as at the age of just a few years. A three-year-old child already knows some stereotypical views about people of the same sex, a six-year-old most often already knows that girls are polite and boys are troublemakers.
Stereotypes influence behaviour
People have different views, but does it matter? Do stereotypical opinions really modulate a child's behaviour and choices? Psychological research leaves no doubt: stereotypes significantly limit a child's freedom of choice and strongly shape what activities they find interesting and which they will willingly engage in, and which they will reject as “girlish” or “boyish”. As much as one would like to try some activity, fear of social judgement or strong beliefs about roles can effectively inhibit action and possibly dissuade from success. It turns out that toddlers are able to select typically male and typically female occupations, and they are more likely to choose those that match their gender. So how do we shape the real freedom of choice of a child so that their educational path and professional career result from real talents and possibilities, and not from popular opinions? How do we help children discover their individual potential? How do we provide freedom of choice?
Pre-school children develop self-knowledge very intensively. They want to know what they are, what they can do and what others are like. They are happy to try, to test, to check and to ask questions. In play, they are eager to take on different roles – and the strength of stereotypes often diminishes while playing. So boys will be ready to pretend to be pregnant by putting a teddy bear under a T-shirt, and girls will play the role of a director or a dad.
Children during this period are classified in socially important dimensions such as age and gender. Their self-description is often very specific – they focus on their appearance, the things they have, but also the activities they can do. This self-description is an integral part of building your own self, self-esteem, and then – identity. It is therefore extremely important during this period that children have the space and the opportunity to test themselves in different roles without being judged. The freer the exploration and the more opportunities to experience and learn about different roles, the greater the likelihood of safely finding within themselves areas that give joy, pleasure, and activities in which the child can feel fulfilled and successful. Such experiments also increase empathy, teach to understand another person, and reduce the fear of being different.
We should show the diversity of behaviour
Children are great observers of social life. So we should show them the diversity of choices and possibilities. We should pay attention to the fact that dad can also cook delicious dishes, and mum can pay the bills. By showing children people working in various professions, we should make sure that it's not always a male policeman and a female nurse, but we should invite female bus drivers and men working in kindergartens to meetings. We should show videos with people who have chosen an unusual career path and place an emphasis on how interesting the experience was. Jane Goodall, a chimpanzee observer, is an excellent example. The story of her life can also be a good introduction to a conversation about the similarities between humans and animals, between people of different skin colour and gender. We should emphasise similarities and avoid focusing on differences! We should talk about how similar our needs, goals, aspirations and emotions are. We should show that even if we are different, it is interesting to learn about these differences.
We should use our imagination
We should encourage children to imagine themselves in various roles, including atypical ones. We should involve them in a conversation about how they feel in their new role, what may be interesting about being a given character. We should perform an exercise in imagining we are a dog. We should talk about what it's like to be a dog and what interesting things can come of it. Then we should switch characters and choose a cat. How does a cat behave? What sounds does it make when it moves? Then let the whole group play the role of fire-fighters and we can fight a fire together. We should play being chefs in a restaurant. We should pay attention to various emotions and feelings: smell, movement. We should talk about what the children were thinking when they played the character. What was it like to be an animal and a human? Such mental exercises greatly increase the freedom to choose different roles, but also the empathic understanding of other people and animals. It is important that these experiments take place in a relaxed atmosphere, with fun and without judgement; in particular, without the assessment of an important adult such as a parent or teacher.
We should pursue a common goal
At the later stages of education, with older children, we should integrate individual groups during games and various activities. We should give mixed groups the opportunity to achieve a common goal, we should show how different children's skills were important for the implementation of a common group task. We should show that diversity provides more opportunities.
Beliefs about ourselves, based on social roles, can be very limiting. They are often unrealistic or even untrue. We should give children freedom from these false beliefs that make it difficult for them to find their own uniqueness.