Do you want to know how your child feels? Ask them what they dream about

Sometimes we dream about something we want to accomplish or have and sometimes our mind simply wanders. Both ways of dreaming show our needs. They often set our goals in life and push us to achieve them. They change the world! They can also be a stepping stone in difficult times. Let’s respect our children’s dreams and remember that we can have dreams too!  

Drawing dreams  

We ask children whether they’re hungry and what time their classes begin, but do we ask them about their dreams? If not, now it’s time to start. Find a quiet moment to talk to your children about them. Make it your moment of closeness and openness. Younger children could draw what they dreamt of instead of expressing their dreams verbally. Let them take paper and crayons and act independently. While they’re drawing, if they prefer it that way, when they’re done, ask if they want to tell you what they drew. Take an interest in their work, ask for details. Don’t make fun, don’t judge. Appreciate that the child wants to tell you about them. The crazier ones, like dreams of having superpowers, characteristic of younger children, indicate rich imagination. Whereas, the more realistic ones reveal the needs of your child, such as being important, happy, fulfilled or, being healthy, safe and in touch with friends is particularly important recently. 

Dreams to be fulfilled 

Dreams often set goals in life and motivate us to achieve them. Sit together and talk to other household members about your individual dreams. You could share some of them? Inspired by the task from the scenario entitled “Freedom to pursue your dreams and goals”, start by asking yourselves several questions:  

What dream do you want to fulfil? What are you striving for? 

What goals do you have to set for yourself in order to fulfil this dream?  

What can help you achieve these goals?  

What could be an obstacle to achieving them?  

How can you overcome obstacles in the path of making your dream come true? 

Support each other in developing a plan, write it down or draw it. Once it’s visualised and you have a plan in place, it will motivate you to act. Celebrate putting it into action together.  

Dreams (and parents) give a boost  

There are many ways to make kids do things which we consider good for them: convincing, explaining, even forcing, but it’s their dreams that often drive them to achieve goals, not ours. Can we, adults, support children in fulfilling their dreams? Do we know how important it is in building their self-esteem, self-confidence and agency? Think of a dream that you fulfilled. What helped you achieve your goal and what made it difficult? Tell your children about this experience and think about whether there is something you can do to support your child in making their dreams come true. Talk to them about it. Perhaps they have their own ideas. You can learn about how important dreams are and why they’re worth talking about from the text prepared by psychotherapist Kamila Becker. This also includes ideas for other activities, for families to engage with each other!

All source materials are prepared by the team of Kulczyk Foundation’s Education Department in cooperation with teachers and experts – pedagogists, psychologists and cultural experts – and verified by an experienced family therapist Kamila Becker. Kinga Kuszak, PhD, Professor of Adam Mickiewicz University, Faculty of Educational Studies, provides content-related supervision over Kulczyk Foundation’s educational materials. All materials are covered by the content patronage of the Faculty of Educational Studies of Adam Mickiewicz University.

The article was published on 27.04.2020 on the website of Instytut Dobrego Życia (Good Life Institute)

Authors: Marta Tomaszewska (Kulczyk Foundation) and Anna Woźniak (Instytut Dobrego Życia)