Empathy can be learnt and trained. Let’s show our children how.

When we’re empathetic towards somebody, we put ourselves in their situation for a moment, we wonder how they feel, how they see the world and the situation in which they find themselves. It’s a bit like looking at reality through their glasses.

Differences matter

Empathy can be practised from an early age. Already a three year old is able to understand that others have feelings and that they differ depending on the situation. So try to encourage your child to look at the world through the eyes of other household members and you try to take the child’s perspective too. Remember that each of us has the right to interpret what we see in our own way, to feel what we feel and to have individual needs. These differences are worth talking about.

Empathy glasses

Empathy glasses are a game to help you and your family look at certain situations from a different perspective. Let everyone at home prepare their own empathy glasses and decorate them in their own way. Then exchange them and practise looking at your home and your current affairs from the perspective of the person whose glasses you have on. It can be interesting! 

Recognition of feelings and emotions

When you’re watching a film with your child, pay attention to situations in which you can try to guess how someone may feel. Talk to your child about how these people may feel. What gestures, facial expressions and tones of voice does the child associate different emotions with. Allow your imagination to run wild and consider the following: if you were in the character’s situation, how would you feel and how would you react? And on the other hand, how would you show this person that you are listening to them? That you care about them? Thanks to this game, even watching cartoons can be a good excuse to develop the child’s socio-emotional competences.

Worth knowing

Try to get your child to practise the three principles of empathy with you:

The first principle is “QUESTIONS”. We ask the other person: how are you feeling? What do you need? Is there anything I can do to help?

The second principle is “YES!”, that is the way we display empathy: we show the other person that we listen to them, we are there for them and we show interest.

The third principle is “NO!”, this defines what we don’t do. So we try not to: judge, give advice, cheer up at a push, compare them to yourself or someone else.

Maybe the introduction of these principles in relationships between adults in your home would help strengthen them too?

All source materials are prepared by the team of Kulczyk Foundation’s Education Department in cooperation with teachers and experts – pedagogists, psychologists and cultural experts – and verified by an experienced family therapist Kamila Becker. Kinga Kuszak, PhD, Professor of Adam Mickiewicz University, Faculty of Educational Studies, provides content-related supervision over Kulczyk Foundation’s educational materials. All materials are covered by the content patronage of the Faculty of Educational Studies of Adam Mickiewicz University.

The article was published on 26.03.2020 on the website of Instytut Dobrego Życia (Good Life Institute)

Authors: Dorota Kuszyńska (Kulczyk Foundation) and Anna Woźniak (Instytut Dobrego Życia)