Blind man’s buff with maintenance. Bailiff: They try to get out of it, but I have a way. I have already collected PLN 2.9 million
Łukasz Pilip Your record?
Robert Damski, a bailiff from Lipno: PLN 2.9 million. That is how much I collected from maintenance debtors a year ago and passed on to creditors, mainly children.
That’s a lot.
Not exactly. The minimum wage has gone up. When I collect up to 60% of earnings from one debtor, the amount is higher than a year ago.
I sometimes wonder why I have so many maintenance cases. My colleagues have around 300. I, a district bailiff from Lipno, have 1500 of them. And every year there are 70 more. I have to handle them. Firstly, the legislator says that every six months I have to check the life situation of the debtor. That he does not pay for his son or daughter is obvious. But why? Secondly, my name is Damski [literally, ‘feminine’]. The name obliges. Being honoured with the White Ribbon is another commitment. For helping women fight for maintenance and against economic violence.
Violence?
Debtors, and 90% of them are men, laugh at me when I explain this to them. For them, violence is when they hit their partner. Sometimes they understand the concept of sexual violence, less often psychological violence. And they know nothing of economic violence. I explain to them that it happens when they force the ex-partner to constantly look for more sources of income. She works so hard because otherwise her son or daughter will not live like their counterparts from full families.
Do you know why maintenance debtors dislike me so much? I get into their lives. I raise awareness of the problem they are avoiding. That is why they so often try to deceive me. I even used to joke about what a liar does after he dies. He lies still – and this is somewhat analogous to what a maintenance debtor does. He talks the biggest nonsense. I have no resentment about that. Dr House from the eponymous show used to say that everyone lies. I can well understand why he claimed this.
Fraud starts already in court: who will outsmart whom. Fathers try to get away with paying as little as possible. They conceal their earnings: they get laid off and look for an illegal job or go part-time to get the rest of their pay under the table. Some mothers also cheat. They show that the expenditure per child is massive. They often do so at the instigation of those around them: ‘If you ask for 1,500 zloty, the court will give you 900. So state the highest amount possible’. And how do you do it? Rest assured, invoices are not a problem. A friend will buy something for her child, and take it in the name of a friend fighting for child support.
This would not have happened if we had introduced maintenance tables, also known as Düsseldorf tables. They operate, for example, in Germany. They set out a maintenance spread that increases with the child. In Poland, maintenance debtors pay an average of PLN 560 per month to a child. Some, however, are adjudicated as low as 50. Unfortunately, they cannot even pay this. They are not afraid because the verdict was made several years ago and the ex-partner is not going to court for an increase in maintenance.
How can you not pay PLN 50?
I also ask myself this question. The debtors answer: ‘I won’t pay because I have started a new family’. ‘But you can’t erase the old one with a concealer’. ‘But then I will run out of money for the children I have with my current partner’. This sentence is followed by another that has already driven me to passion: ‘Sir, I will not pay for my ex-children!’. Such debtors believe that they have divorced not only their partner but also their children. Some, to make life even more miserable for their former family, only remit part of the maintenance. Or if they are supposed to pay by the tenth of each month, they do so a dozen days later. ‘Out of spite?’, I keep asking. Some nod, others wink meaningfully.
Have you noticed that we have hardly talked about children?
They fade from the foreground because they are held hostage to maintenance. I saw a drawing where parents were trying to yank their daughter out of each other’s hands. They treated her like a rope to be dragged in a court battle.
We are talking about the largest debts, percentage effectiveness. But this is a statistic. Under it are John, Agnes, Betty. I know them because they come to me with their mothers. Mostly every Tuesday when I have an office day. I will show you something.
A plush toy!
I keep it in the office to make the children more comfortable. The toy, however, loses to the aquarium you see behind me. I always have some sweets. Perhaps they will ensure that children do not associate their stay in the office only with bitterness.
I would like to take this opportunity to apologise to the children for whom I have not yet enforced maintenance.
What do such children lack?
During the remote learning pandemic, they didn’t turn their webcams on because they were ashamed of their poverty: decaying furniture, dingy walls. Now it is spring and children go outside more often. Do you think those who don’t get maintenance will be able to afford a bike? In August, their peers post photos on Instagram from beaches or mountains. And they won’t even go on a short camp. Their last hope is sometimes their daddy, who in June promises to pay at least for July. But he forgets again.
And we are not talking about thousands, but five hundred zloty. Some debtors spend this amount on cigarettes. And those who come to me by car? Of course, they always insist that the car does not belong to them. But they had to refuel it.
Research carried out by BIG InfoMonitor and the association Dla Naszych Dzieci [For Our Children] shows that last year half of the children of child maintenance debtors did not go on holiday.
And have you considered what kind of image of the law they have because of this? They grow in the belief that there is no need to worry about it. Daddy got his sentence, but nothing is happening to him. The child therefore concludes that they can get away with breaking the law. If they grow up and become parents themselves one day, they may not pay child maintenance because of this. However, I hope they will remember their childhood exclusion then. And their mother’s efforts to provide them with decent conditions for growing up.
I recently spoke to a lady from the other end of Poland about her 12-year-old son. His father neglected contact with him and did not pay him maintenance. The boy didn’t want to see him, and daddy took advantage of this. He started a case against his ex-partner for obstructing contact with the child. The court fined her 70 thousand zlotys! And this amount will end up in daddy’s pocket as tax-free income. The mother has no money to pay. Her only asset is the flat in which she lives with her children. I hope that the Ombudsman for Civil Rights and the Commissioner for Children’s Rights will intervene.
And what makes enforcement difficult?
Emotions, mainly of debtors. They tell me, ‘I’m not going to give my ex money for hairdressers and her nails’. They do not understand that they pay maintenance to their child, and not to their mother. ‘Sir,’ they ask me, ‘why should I pay 700 zloty for a child if his mother doesn’t give him that much?’. I answer, ‘Unlike you she is with your child. She talks to them about their problems. She cooks for them. She does homework with them’. Besides, even if men transfer some money, they consider that their parental duties end at that moment.
Are they ashamed of not paying?
Not at all! I only observe shame in mothers who come to me. I have composed a poem especially for them: ‘Take care of your child, maintenance is not shameful. Remember the saying: shame is not paying’. And now my appeal: dear ladies, if your ex-partner does not pay for your child, you are obliged to come to the bailiff.
You will start looking for the debtor. And it is not so easy to find them.
The anthem of my profession should be the song ‘Kiedyś cię znajdę’ [‘I’ll find you someday’] by Reni Jusis. Fathers often adopt a method of hiding themselves, but also their assets. Then a game of blind man’s buff between them and me begins. And you see: we are laughing at this game of hide and seek, while a million children are waiting for money. Many are not impressed by this figure. They continue to cheer on debtors. After all, a bailiff is an official, an oppressive apparatus. Tricking them is a national sport.
In December, the police found a maintenance debtor who was so unwilling to pay that he had taken up residence in the woods.
He was in hiding for seven years. His story entertains, but we forget who he ‘robbed’. His own child. If we understood this, we would not pat debtors on the back telling them: ‘Wow, you have deceived the officials for a long time!’. We also forget that if the debtor does not pay for the child and the family income does not exceed PLN 900 net per person, the maintenance is paid by the Maintenance Fund. So you pay, I pay. Since we contribute to the debtor, the debtor thinks we are suckers.
Besides, he is surrounded by an organised support group. It is usually headed by a mummy who has not cut the umbilical cord. ‘He’s such a good boy, my prince’, she tells me. ‘Well, maybe if he didn’t drink... But when he doesn’t, he brings the groceries’.
Not only does she hurt her own son, but also her grandchildren.
There is a saying that since God cannot be everywhere, he invented grandparents. This is not necessarily the case with maintenance.
Now I have a task for you. Imagine going out to the street and doing a survey. First question: ‘Do you have to pay for your child?’. Everyone nods. Second question. ‘Does anyone around you have a maintenance order?’. Some answer that they do. Third: ‘And do they pay it?’. And it’s downhill from there. ‘But she slept with half the village!’, ‘But he started drinking because of her’, ‘But it is not his child’. I often hear similar texts from the debtor’s mum. He sometimes brings her to the office. I call such a man Peter Pan. I recently went to one of them. The door was opened by his mother, she invited me into the kitchen and whispered: ‘I will pay part of the maintenance for my son. My husband is upstairs, if he comes down, please say you are from the energy company’.
Or: I went to the debtor’s flat to assess assets that I could auction. When I noticed that he had a cool exercise kit, he just stepped into the room. He could barely fit through the door. His mummy was already running behind him. She was waving invoices. ‘I understand that this exercise bench belongs to you?’, I already knew what was going on. ‘Of course’.
What if she also had to pay?
You have stated the best way to deal with Peter Pan. His mother must be made aware that she can pay maintenance too. Under two conditions: the enforcement against her son must prove unsuccessful and the mother of his child should file a lawsuit against the grandparents. I recommend this solution. This is sobering for Peter Pans’ mothers. One of them said: ‘Well, now I’m going to have to get this lazy mug to work. It would be a big shame if the bailiff took away part of my pension’.
I also have Clumsy Smurf in my classification. His standard text: ‘I love my children so much! I would give them everything, but I can’t find a job. Do you have any for me?’. ‘Have you been to a job centre?’, I keep asking. ‘There is no work there’. ‘Strawberries can be picked in the Lipno area. After six hours you would have a month’s maintenance’. ‘It’s just that my back hurts so much...’.
But Sinbad the Sailor is even more cunning than him. He goes abroad, dissolves into thin air and forgets about his family. I had to deal with one recently. He did not pay the child for years. I could not enforce anything because he was hiding in the Netherlands. But when his mother died, he inherited a quarter of the farm from her and I took it. I came with an expert for the valuation of the plot. Sinbad’s father came up to us. He told us that the farm is from his grandfather and he cannot imagine how it could go to auction. Who turned up at my office a week later? The ‘Dutchman’. ‘I will repay the maintenance arrears in two instalments. Just don’t bother my father’. To which I said: ‘I will go to him and thank him for finding you. Because neither I nor the police could do it’. Sinbad has kept his word. He settled the debt.
And does he pay current maintenance?
No, he does not. But I already have his Dutch address. In fact, he recently sent me an email. He wrote that he was struggling financially because of the pandemic. However, he promised to pay it all back. Provided, of course, that I stop annoying his father again.
Do you know how I approach Sinbad? I find the address where he lived in Poland. I find his family there. I hear there is no contact with him. ‘Not good, because I will have to inform the police and the prosecution. They will start chasing him’. And then I hear: ‘Give me this letter’. Sometimes the debtor’s mother takes her wallet to pay for him.
New partners too?
They usually have two excuses. Either they are not interested or they do not know anything. And once one of them really did not know. When I said that I came for maintenance, she was surprised: ‘Wait! What?!’. Apparently her partner did not take the time to inform her of the children from his previous relationship.
If Sinbad reveals himself to the bailiff of his own accord, it is more likely to herald trouble. He does not usually do this to pay maintenance. Only to demand it from the child. I have already dealt with such a case.
And time for the most difficult type of debtor – the Sly Fox. The enforcement of money from him gives the bailiff the greatest satisfaction. He is a master of making a living from nothing. He has nothing because he has transferred all his property to his relatives. So how come he came to my office by car? The car belongs to his partner. And why does he leave the house for eight hours every day? He visits a colleague’s company where he drinks coffee for that long. His employer belongs to an organised support group. He does not do it out of altruism. When he employs him illegally, he simply does not pay contributions.
Electronic surveillance works for this type of debtor. That is, a GPS transmitter in a leg or arm band. He has a receiver installed in his house. When he leaves, he loses the connection, and the probation officer immediately finds out about it. Why is this the best solution? Because many of us would like to put them in prison. But that is not the way to go. Firstly, the child is doubly stigmatised. Not only do they miss their father, but he is also in prison. Secondly, the father will not pay from behind bars.
And thirdly, we will all contribute to his stay in prison.
The cost of maintaining an inmate is at least three thousand zlotys, electronic supervision costs a little over 700.
Do you still believe people after all this time?
I do. Even debtors. If they promise to settle the arrears, I hope they will not cheat me.
And do they pay?
80% of them do not. The rest, however, keep their word. Then I call them to say thank you. I remind them of course of the next instalments. Some people ask to make a deal. Recently one debtor instructed me: ‘Don’t you know that during war all obligations cease?’.
Perhaps I am naive, but if I did not believe people, I would not be able to practice my profession. I wrote a poem about it as a consolation: ‘My profession has always had a bad reputation/ but the bailiff is useful for the whole nation/ despite the never-ending bad words/ I don’t give in to dark thoughts/ because I always remember one fact/ that the bailiff doesn’t take/ the bailiff just gives back’.
Robert Damski – court bailiff from Lipno. White Ribbon Laureate for his commitment to improving maintenance enforcement. Member of the former Maintenance Panel of the Ombudsmen for Children and Citizens. Member of associations: Mężczyźni przeciw Przemocy [Men Against Violence], Dla Naszych Dzieci [For Our Children], Alimenty To Nie Prezenty [Maintenance Is Not a Gift] and the KiDs Foundation. Volunteer fire-fighter in Bobrowniki OSP
Author: Łukasz Pilip
Photo: pexels.com
The text was published in „Wolna Sobota” a magazine of „Gazeta Wyborcza” on 26 March 2022