Charity is contagious. And it works like a miracle drug: it calms, lowers blood pressure and improves sleep

First, a riddle: what extends life, calms, strengthens muscles, lowers blood pressure, improves sleep and hearing?

Helping. I don’t think any pill gives us as much as it does. Pretty much unlike any drug, charity has no side effects.

You have also felt its benefits.

I did an experiment that involved doing good deeds and measuring my cortisol levels. It took place under the guidance of two researchers from the Laboratory of Stress, Psychiatry and Immunology at the Royal College of London. They prompted me to take notes on my activities. I was given these special cotton balls that I had to chew three times a day. Once they were soaked in saliva after two minutes, I put them in the tube. I wrote the time on it and placed it in the refrigerator. I did it for a week. During the four days of the experiment, I lived my life as usual. However, I planned small acts of kindness for the other days. At first I would wake up and wonder what I could do for others. That alone was a very pleasant feeling. I started with small things. I drew a smile on a sticky note and left it on my neighbour’s car window. Then I bought a sandwich for a homeless person. I picked up litter on the way to the store. And I put 5 euros in another neighbour’s mailbox. After a week, I sent the samples back to London. One of the scientists called me. ‘We didn’t expect the results to be this clear!’. He sent me a graph that illustrated my cortisol levels. Thanks to acts of kindness, it fell much more than on regular days.

And would it fall if we helped for selfish reasons?

I asked the scientists if such kindness would still have a good effect on our health. They responded that motivation is not that important. Why? Because in the process of helping, it changes. During it, we become more empathetic. We become what we would like to be. In English, this is described by the saying: ‘Fake it till you make it’. That is, pretend until it becomes true. So it will be hard for you to help refugees at the station just to improve your own health. At some point you will care about their plight anyway. This is true of many of our behaviours. For example, some people convert to vegetarianism for health reasons. But when they no longer eat meat, they say: ‘We felt sorry for the animals and the planet’.

Can empathy be contagious?

Of course. Just to start, let’s establish what it is. Many believe that we feel all too much because of it. That the other person’s feelings even overpower us. However, if that were the case, we would be talking about neuroticism, which is the kind of jittery and emotionalism like Woody Allen acting in films. Empathy is something else. It allows us to understand someone’s emotions, but not to crumble under their influence.

There are quite a few examples of situations where we got infected with charity. Something like this happened in Canada, among other places. When one person in line bought another person a coffee, that gesture was repeated by over two hundred other people who were also standing there. In psychology, we call this phenomenon emotional contagion. Helping, pleasant and difficult feelings spread like a yawn.

Maybe the rest of the line bought others coffee because they didn’t want to be worse?

It’s possible. But these individuals showed empathy anyway. After all, they were concerned about social pressure. They cared about how the others saw them. Interestingly, psychopaths would probably not succumb to similar pressures. They tend to be resistant to emotional contagion. They don’t even react when someone next to them yawns.

And how is it with our empathy?

A study of its levels in 63 countries was published some time ago. Poland took fourth place. Unfortunately, from the end. However, we should remember that the ranking was made before the invasion of Ukraine. It’s important because the war woke us up.

Researchers from the United States tried to discover what contributed to the empathy crisis. They concluded that social media and technology are most likely responsible for it. Consumerism or materialism also does not help. Studies show that the desire to possess has a very bad effect on the human psyche. Not only does it make us unhappy, but we are less likely to engage in relationships with others because of it. This is where the principle of weight works: the more materialistic values, the less profound. And vice versa.

Why did we have a problem with empathy in Poland? As in other post-communist countries, people have lost trust in government, institutions, and even themselves. They cared more about money than the other person. It is no coincidence that there has been talk of Polish callousness.

So why such a burst of charity now?

Maybe it was inside us, just buried? Poles themselves are surprised at how they are helping. Or perhaps difficult times affect us? In psychology, we have a lot of research proving that personality can change at important times in life. War may be one of them. See how charity is contagious today. Since our loved one or neighbour is helping, we want to follow in their footsteps. This creates social pressure.

And it drives some into guilt.

I have a bit of a problem with this. Because on the one hand there are people who really have a lot, but they don’t help. There are even studies showing that wealthy people have less empathy. So maybe it’s good for them to feel at least some pressure now? But, on the other hand, I know people who support refugees and yet drive themselves into guilt. To them, it seems they are still not doing enough.

Therefore, you should remember that you don’t have to go to the station right away. Nor is it necessary to invite ten refugees into a thirty-square-metre flat. Common sense is important. I mention it because I met a woman who helps Ukrainians. One day she wanted to relax – she went to a comedy show at the theatre and came back from it feeling guilty. She didn’t understand how she could laugh when people were dying a few hundred kilometres away. Well, she could. In her case, the guilt was inadequate.

Therefore, it is no coincidence that those who are mentally fit are most suitable for helping. And this is provided by optimism and laughter, among other things. Nature tries to protect us even further: when we help, our amygdala in the brain quiets down, but so does cortisol, the stress hormone. So that we don’t sit in a corner and cry over someone’s plight, but help them wisely. So let’s go to theatres and recharge our batteries. Laughter alone already has a truly amazing effect on the human psyche and body. Example? Before a flu vaccination, some patients watched funny videos while others watched boring ones. The first group then produced more antibodies than the others.

Then maybe empathy can be trained?

Of course. There are even training sessions on it. Their participants include children, teenagers, medical students, residents, and inmates. They are run by an organisation called Roots of Empathy, among others. I observed one of them. It consisted of a mother and child coming to nine- and ten-year-olds. The toddler was not yet talking, and session participants had to guess the baby’s mood. Was the baby crying because they were overstimulated? Or were they hungry? Or were they tired? When the children found the answer, they moved on to the next step: they started talking about themselves. That, for example, they were also sometimes irritated and impatient because of overexertion.

The researchers wondered about the effects of similar training. So they screened the children who participated. After two years, they were found to be more sensitive, less annoying to others, and more forgiving of others.

Maybe because they were working as a group?

Indeed – if we do something with others, we put more energy into it. We are still social animals, though we forget that. We evolved to live in a collective non-stop. Even our stress axes, our endocrine systems are still functioning as if we are in a herd.

Since we are talking about the group, it is also necessary to talk about synchronicity with it. Because if we are singing together in a choir, dancing with a band to the same beat, praying with others in church, we are releasing social hormones in doses up to twice as high as if we were doing the same thing out of sync. It’s important because it’s all about endorphins, which we call happy hormones. They are our natural painkillers. Also, by doing things synchronously, we become more pro-social and trusting.

And which is better for our health: giving or taking?

Giving. There are enough studies that support this. In one study, researchers asked Boston residents to hold a weight weighing more than two kilograms in front of them for as long as possible. After the first trial, they were given a dollar. During the second trial, some of them were asked if they would like to donate the prize to UNICEF. Those willing to support, took the weight in their hands once again. This time they held it as much as 15% longer than the others. Fascinating, right? This is exactly how their body reacted to the injection of hormones secreted while helping.

In another study, researchers gave people $20 and said: ‘You can take this money or you can donate it to others’. Those who put the money in their pockets initially thought they would feel better. Not in the slightest. They quickly showed less satisfaction with their lives. That’s why ads shouldn’t tell us: ‘Buy something for your own pleasure’, but: ‘Buy something for someone and you will feel better’.

And are we willing to give gifts to others?

A lot depends on how specific the purpose of our charity is. We reap fewer mental benefits when, for example, we give money to ‘save the children’. It’s too general. But our mood improves much more if we join an action where someone tells us: ‘Would you like to make a contribution of 30 zlotys? That’s good, because we’ll buy four mosquito nets with it. With these, we will increase malaria protection for children in Zimbabwe’.

Therefore, if anyone today has a problem mobilising to help Ukraine, they should focus on charity towards its specific citizens. And consider that by helping others they are also helping themselves. Because it has just as good benefits for our health as sports or a healthy diet. Just remember again: don’t overdo it. Remember that supporting others during war is a long-term activity. You can’t drive constantly in sixth gear here because you’ll drain the battery. After two weeks, you’ll burn out, and people who need help will still be waiting.

Marta Zaraska - science journalist. Author of the book ‘Growing Young: How Friendship, Optimism, and Kindness Can Help You Live to 100’, which was recently translated into Polish. ‘The Wall Street Journal’ named it one of the best health books of 2020. She has published in The Washington Post, New Scientist, The Atlantic, and Scientific American. She lives in France

Author: Łukasz Pilip

Photo: unsplash.com

The text was published in „Wolna Sobota” a magazine of „Gazeta Wyborcza” on 14 May 2022