In our café, kids open up and strengthen their sense of worth. They can work here

The first time I was at Pożyteczna, the waiter looked over my shoulder and asked: ‘Have you eaten yet?’, I replied, ‘No’. ‘Then finish up or it’ll get cold’. I’ll admit that his honesty disarmed and amused me.

A tall brunette?

Yes.

I think that was my Paweł. Our employees are individuals with mild to moderate disabilities. They enjoy their work and do a great job. And we have very understanding customers.

How did you come up with the idea to start a coffee bar club that employs people with disabilities?

It started with the ‘Też Chcemy Być’ Foundation, founded by families who had children with disabilities in their final year of special vocational school. They took a bookbinding class, but we all realised that they would never work in that profession.

We knew that our kids were so capable that it was a shame for their education to end, and we started the Skills Academy, which is still in operation today.

We secured them educationally, but we also had to find them jobs. We knew there was no work for them in the market and when it did appear it was only temporary. And in their case, it’s worse than if they didn’t have it at all.

I remember the moment when I realised that something had to be created. I didn’t know what yet, but I knew I would have to come up with something and organise it.

When was this?

When Paweł was four years old, I picked him up from his psychology class. The psychologist played a memory game with him and my son outplayed him. And the psychologist asked me why I was teaching him such things, after all he would never know how to read and write anyway. I had never played a memory game with Paweł.

I remember, it was raining, I was driving the car and I was crying terribly. I was furious. I don’t know if those were tears of annoyance or grief. Probably both.

I realised that Paweł would never be appreciated and it would hurt him. I just knew he was worth more than psychologists and other experts claimed.

Honestly, did you feel it or know it?

I felt, as a mother, but I also saw it, because I watched him closely. With Paweł, the situation wasn’t clear because after the forceps delivery, which was a nightmare for both me and him, the doctors said he was fine. Ultimately, it turned out that it wasn’t okay because Paweł has damage to certain areas of his brain. He has mild to moderate intellectual disability. However, before it was determined, I had been considered an oversensitive mother who kept picking for holes all over.

When he was born, he had a huge haematoma on his head and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. After all, it’s a head injury, and the brain, you know, is the command centre.

Paweł started speaking and reading late, but was able to introduce himself in three languages. We lived in Moscow at the time, where my husband worked. Also, he assimilated some things late and others overly quickly.

When did you finally get your son’s disability assessment?

In the third grade of elementary school, by the way, he was diagnosed at my request.

He was confronted by children who read fluently and wrote without difficulty. It was very difficult for him. And when he got a good grade or some other reward as an incentive, he would get very angry because he wanted to earn it himself, but couldn’t. I didn’t know how to help him, and I felt that the next few years would be even more difficult for him.

Paweł was diagnosed, and I had to make the hardest decision of my life.

Which is?

I had to transfer him to a special school, and I had a terrible idea of this facility. It felt like I was handing my son over to the third level of hell somewhere. On the other hand, I had the medical report in my hand and there was no turning back from that path.

And what was the reality in special education?

It was very much okay. Paweł loved the teacher, the students, and learned to read and write. There he got A’s when he deserved them. Then there was the middle school and vocational school in Długa Street. The atmosphere there was great, it was worse when it came to getting a job, because let’s not kid ourselves, bookbinders are not in demand on the market these days.

The school on Długa Street certainly boosted his self-esteem a lot. He believed that he too could do something. But there was the question of what he would do when he finished his education. Then, with other parents from the school, we decided to start a Skills Academy. We started with five students and now we have 30 students.

What is the basis for the Skills Academy?

Any person with a disability who is a graduate student can come to us. Young adults come to us — they don’t have a chance to go to college, and it’s hard to find a job, so they can continue their education while getting to know other people and socialising. And this is also very important for people with disabilities. They should not be left alone.

Our Academy has continuing education status, so you cannot graduate. Our charges, even if they have bald heads and bellies, will be able to attend Polish, English and geography classes. We have a drama club, pottery classes, painting classes.

There are no fees to attend the Academy, most classes are non-profit, only some are paid.

And how did the coffee bar club we sit in today evolve from the Academy?

We have created a place for our children to grow intellectually, but that is not enough for them to live. There was a question about where they could work. Because they are willing and able to work.

Among other things, they were volunteers at all kinds of runs and marathons, and they still do it today. However, it was not a permanent occupation.

I got lucky and ended up at the Foundation for Social and Economic Initiatives (FISE). Together we thought about what kind of workspace we could create for our children.

The idea of setting up a gallery with artwork by people with disabilities with a small café emerged. However, when we did the initial business plan, it became apparent that we would not make a living from it. We were offered the idea of setting up a café or coffee bar club. We spent a year preparing for this. I laugh that we parents of grown children have gone back to college. At FISE, we sometimes talked to people who were the age of our older children and told us: ‘No, it’s badly done. Please correct it and come again’.

You guys approached it very professionally.

Of course, there was no question of any partisanship, because no one would give us funds. For a year we had to show that we were prepared, determined, and that we knew what we wanted.

And did everything go according to plan once you got the grant?

Not at all! We knew what difficulties we might face, but we were not prepared for them. Theory collided with practice. We have never done any business in our lives.

But we had the grant, we were happy, and we started looking for a location for our coffee bar club. At that time, Stefan Bratkowski asked us if our charges would help clean the building in Krakowskie Przedmieście where Wańkowicz school was located.

We agreed and then I could see that the kids could do nothing. Neither sweeping nor cleaning, they don’t know how to use a rag, etc. And we were supposed to be running a café. I realised that there was hard work ahead.

Mr Bratkowski allowed us to adapt several rooms for the Academy, and we looked for a location for the café.

We didn’t want anything for free. We wanted, within our rights and abilities, to get premises from the city because we were bailing the state out of certain responsibilities. At least, that’s what we thought.

Everyone said we had a great idea, that it was cool that we were doing it, and that’s pretty much where it ended. Two years had passed and if we didn’t find a location, we would forfeit the grant. And then Mr Bratkowski asked if we wanted to set up a café in the old archive.

This is how the Pożyteczna coffee bar club was established in Nowy Świat. We were the second food service facility in the city with people with disabilities. Życie Jest Fajne [Life is Cool], where autistic adults work, was opened a month before our café.

We spent five years there. We have been in a new location in Stary Mokotow for a year now.

How did your charges cope at work?

There was a lot of excitement. Both I and they were learning things we had never done in our lives. Now, if I had to give someone advice, I would say: ‘Do apprenticeship at a restaurant for a month and see what the job entails’.

Gastronomy is a hard piece of bread for non-dysfunctional people. And when you have 14 young adults with various disabilities in your care, it can be really hard. You need a different ‘key’ to each one: praise one, look threateningly at another. We have done and we are still doing well. Work greatly strengthened their self-esteem, they became more open and independent. All but one of our charges travel independently around the city. This was a requirement of the Academy.

How did the parents of these young people view working in food service?

It varies. Every parent understands spreading wings in their child differently. At the beginning there was an idea that the children would work with their parents, but it turned out to be impossible. So I stayed in the café myself and started to teach them. I didn’t hire a manager because we couldn’t afford it.

For four years I worked here for free, I did it for my son and the other kids. I treated it like my own child and demanded the same from them. A lot Not everyone liked the fact that their children have to work so hard here, that it should not be like this.

And what did you say to that?

Yes, it’s hard, but we won’t be there one day and what your kids learn now will be useful to them in the future. They will be able to make do without you.

Fortunately, we managed to reach an agreement with the parents. Now I manage the coffee bar club on my own, one parent helps me, who is a ‘handyman’, takes care of administrative matters.

How do you feel when managing the coffee bar club on your own?

Sometimes I miss someone to discuss what to do next. Luckily I have a dog that I go outside with at six in the morning and discuss it with him. So all ideas are born at the crack of dawn.

It’s lunchtime and I see a lot of people coming to your café. Do you like this new place?

Very much, new customers come to us and those we already know well who found us here. We received great support and promotion from the local group Ferajna Stary Mokotów on Facebook. We hear from people that we have a nice atmosphere and great meals.

Are there are also people under the care of the foundation in the kitchen?

No, we have international staff in the kitchen. We have Nelia, a chef from Ukraine who left the country in 2016. Zhanna suffered a stroke and is a refugee from Belarus. The vegan dishes are the responsibility of Ika, who worked in London restaurants for many years. And the newest on the team is the Ukrainian Olha, also a refugee. She arrived in Poland in March, after the war broke out.

I wonder where you get your strength from in this daily hard work?

Believe me, miracles happen here sometimes. For them, continuing education and steady work are the best form of rehabilitation they can dream of. We are neither psychologists nor educators, and we have done something that is innovative.

Once we had a boy who I thought wouldn’t do well here. There was virtually no contact with him, he just kept saying ‘okay, okay’. But he really wanted to be part of the group.

At that time, a company approached me to ask if I would like to do a scuba diving course for our charges.

I agreed, and the youth went to the theory lectures. We took him with us as a bit of an experiment. We thought he didn’t understand much of the lesson, and somehow he cleverly processed what he heard in his head, and by the next class he knew exactly what it was all about. Of course he didn’t say deflator, inflator, just this or that tube. He understood everything perfectly. It was a turning point not only in his studies but in his life. He and five others completed the course and went down to five metres in open water. His mum says a miracle has happened since then. He has opened up a lot, and in our group we call him the Minister of Diplomacy because he hates conflict. If he sees something going wrong in the group, and it happens often, he prefers to take the blame, just so no one argues.

The effects of this work give me great satisfaction, and flatter my ambition. My idea works and produces great results. I’m proud that I hired a post-stroke cook, that we gave a job to a refugee. The girls like each other, they have never quarrelled, and they find common ground. Isn’t that wonderful?

Is managing this café your job now?

Yes, although in terms of salary, I have the lowest of anyone working here. I have worked here for free for many years, but when I heard from one of my parents that I was pursuing a hobby here, I felt hurt. I decided to take early retirement, turned down the promotion I was offered, and took a full-time job at Pożyteczna.

What do you find most challenging about this job?

Balancing the budget every month. Financial matters are by far the most difficult. Now because of the ‘Polish order’ tax system we will pay several thousand more tributes every month. However, I believe that we will manage somehow.

Parents of children with disabilities sometimes have trouble accepting that their children are different. What did that look like for you?

Some decisions need to be cried out in life. I remember the words of a psychologist who said that my son would never learn anything. I cried for a long time, then shook myself off and said: Okay, that’s the reality. You have to live a normal life. Well, and I’m trying to live a normal life.

 

Author: Anna Woźniak

Photo: Maciek Jaźwiecki/Agencja Wyborcza.pl 

The text was published on wysokieobcasy.pl on14 May 2022