Tenderness & Freedom

Due to lockdown measures, we are now experiencing intense enforced closeness with those we live with. And when we deal with intense situations, we can react to them in various ways.

Recently, I was shocked because my son cleaned up the stove where something had spilled. I asked him twice if it really was him who cleaned it up.

Time passes by very quickly... Do you remember if you showed any affection to your loved ones yesterday? Did you notice that someone prepared dinner and someone else, without saying anything, cleaned up after dinner? Who paid the bills this month? Or did you have to postpone the time you had set aside for this again so you could instead deal with some urgent matters? Do you know what are the priorities for you and your family this week?

First, ask yourselves this: What do you expect from a relationship? What in a partner makes you happy or sad and what makes you a good partner? Do you feel understood and heard and do you make your other half feel the same? Now tell me, is there room for empathy in your answers? Because there should be!

When we are shut away indoors the overbearing proximity of others can be difficult to bear, especially when it is viewed as a burden rather than an opportunity to strengthen relationships. Unfortunately, during such a time we may miss a lot of the good things that happen, because our increased anxiety and tension focuses attention on what is challenging, unpleasant or hard work. With this in mind we propose some simple ways to redirect attention to the things that build, strengthen and are good in us and our loved ones.